Storyville

Books I have read this year (not actually in order, except the first 20 or so, which are in reverse order with the most recent first (which I know is the definition of 'reverse order', but just to clarify in case there was any confusion. Yes, I'm a pedant)):

1. Timekeepers (Catherine Webb - reread)
2. Creatures of Light and Darkness (Roger Zelazny - reread)
3. Nation (Terry Pratchett - reread)
4. The Doomsday Machine (Catherine Webb)
5. I Shall Wear Midnight (Terry Pratchett)
6. Waywalkers (Catherine Webb - reread)
7. Scott Pilgrim and the Infinite Sadness (Bryan Lee O'Malley)
8. Scott Pilgrim vs The World (Bryan Lee O'Malley)
9. Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life (Bryan Lee O'Malley)
10. Twelfth Night (William Shakespeare)
11. Howl's Moving Castle (Diana Wynne Jones - reread)
12. The Obsidian Dagger (Catherine Webb)
13. The Last Watch (Sergei Lukyanenko)
14. Making Money (Terry Pratchett - reread)
15. Jack of Shadows (Roger Zelazny)
16. Flinx Transcendent (Alan Dean Foster)
17. Mirror Dreams (Catherine Webb)
18. Mirror Wakes (Catherine Webb)
19. The Midnight Mayor (Kate Griffin)
20. The Twilight Watch (Sergei Lukyanenko)
21. The Night Watch (Sergei Lukyanenko)
22. The Day Watch (Sergei Lukyanenko)
23. The Dinosaur Hunters (Deborah Cadbury)
24. Armageddon: The Musical (Robert Rankin - reread)
25. Nine Princes in Amber (Roger Zelazny)
26. The Guns of Avalon (Roger Zelazny)
27. Sign of the Unicorn (Roger Zelazny)
28. The Hand of Oberon (Roger Zelazny)
29. The Courts of Chaos (Roger Zelazny)
30. Trumps of Doom (Roger Zelazny)
31. Blood of Amber (Roger Zelazny)
32. Sign of Choas (Roger Zelazny)
33. Knight of Shadows (Roger Zelazny)
34. Prince of Chaos (Roger Zelazny)
35. The End of Mr Y (Scarlett Thomas - read most of it, got distracted by something else. Will finish it at some point but was not totally fascinated by it)
36. The Tempest (William Shakespeare)
37. A Midsummer Night's Dream (William Shakespeare - reread)
38. The Journal of Gideon Mantell (bit of a skim-read in places, but very entertaining!)
39. Twilight (Stephanie Meyer - easily the worst book I've read this year, by a clear country mile)
40. The Time Traveller's Wife (Audrey Niffenegger)
And possibly one or two others I've forgotten.

Hmm, a few themes becoming apparent there. Got into Zelazny in a big way for a while, then Lukyanenko (seriously, that is a bloody good series, you must read it!), and I've been gradually working my way through Catherine Webb's back-catalogue (and I'm insanely jealous that someone several years younger than me has a back-catalogue, and so much talent as a writer - I've always wanted to write, but never been any good! If I could write, her books are pretty much what I would write!).

I seem to have read a lot of books by not many authors this year! And it would have been more, but after an intense period of reading I got a bit tired after I Shall Wear Midnight and took a bit of a break to catch up on some TV watching instead! Got through 2 seasons of Fringe in 2 weeks! Bloody love that show!

Also, there are quite a few books on the list that I've re-read this year. I know a lot of people will read a book once and never again, but there are some books, and some authors, that I adore and can read many times without boredom...when I was a teenager I read the Pratchett/Gaiman masterpiece Good Omens on a semi-annual basis. My copy looks very battered now! Next year I must attempt to read more new books. Already on my list is the next Kate Griffin book, The Neon Court (the third book in the absolutely brilliant Matthew Swift series. Go read it. Now.), which isn't even out until February! I'm quite excited. For those not in the know, Kate Griffin is Catherine Webb's alter ego, the name she uses for her adult fiction (her other works are technically classed as teen fiction, even though they're not really). And she's now one of my favourite authors, in the august company of Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman.

So, people. The list should give you some idea of my tastes...what other books should I be reading? I'm sure there are many fantastic books that have passed me by over the years, so what do you recommend I read next year? Which authors should I have in my collection?

Let's Kill Music

Before it kills us all!

Or, Gigs Wot I Have Been To In Glasgow...

There are quite a few of them. I've done a lot of gigging here, because Glasgow is such a great city for live music, with loads of wonderful venues and some amazing home-grown bands. I have quite a collection of tickets, which have built up around the edge of my mirror, thus:

 

So here we have:

1. Dave Gorman @ Pavillion Theatre, 21/09/09 (obviously there are going to be a few comedy gigs mixed in, it's not all music!)

2. The Hot Rats @ King Tuts, 11/10/09

3. Bat For Lashes @ ABC, 19/10/09

4. Skunk Anansie @ Academy, 22/11/09

5. The Bluetones @ King Tuts, 16/12/09

6. The Swell Season @ City Halls, 16/01/10

7. Nick Harper @ Classic Grand, 03/03/10

8. Mark Morriss @ Maggie Mays, 05/03/10

9. Chris Addison @ Citizen's Theatre, 17/03/10

10. The Twilight Sad @ ABC, 02/04/10

11. Evelyn Evelyn @ Oran Mor (and Amanda Palmer's apartment, New York, via webcam), 17/04/10

12. Doves @ Academy, 01/05/10

13. Stag & Dagger Festival @ lots of places!, 22/05/10

14. Bitter Ruin @ Ivory Blacks, 02/06/10

15. Supergrass @ Barrowland, 08/06/10

16. Richard Herring @ Assembly Rooms, Edinburgh (Fringe gig), 05/08/10

17. Arj Barker @ Assembly Rooms, Edinburgh (Fringe gig), 20/08/10

18. Stewart Lee @ The Stand, Edinburgh (Fringe gig), 30/08/10

19. NME Radar show (The Joy Formidable and Chapel Club) @ King Tuts, 01/10/10

20. Sparrow And The Workshop @ King Tuts, 04/10/10

21. Tom McRae @ Oran Mor, 16/10/10

22. The Unwinding Hours (with The Twilight Sad acoustic - absolutely amazing!) @ Oran Mor auditorium, 17/10/10

23. Bellowhead @ Liquid Rooms, Edinburgh, 14/11/10

24. The Bluetones @ Oran Mor, 25/11/10

And a few other bits and bobs including my Gati di Roma calendar (so cute and so cheesy!) and my certificate for climbing the Scott monument in Edinburgh (all 287 steps of it)!

Wow, considering I've lived here for only 16 months, that represents a gig and a half a month! And there were a few months with no gigs at all! And that's just the gigs I bought tickets for, not including free things like the Candy Sessions at Liquid Ship (which I've been to loads of because my friend Shoshana plays them quite often) and Sunday acoustic nights at The Aragon (which I have seen the lovely Hannah O'Reilly at).

And all of them have been brilliant shows, not a duff one amongst them. Particular stand-outs include Evelyn Evelyn (just for the sheer weirdness of watching a gig where half of the act is stuck in New York due to an ash cloud...a random member of the audience had to stand on stage holding Amanda Palmer's laptop so we could see Jason Webley on the webcam! They just about successfully performed a few songs that way!)

Also Bat For Lashes was incredible, Supergrass were EPIC!, The Bluetones were funny and charming, as was Tom McRae (who I'd never seen before, despite liking him for 10 years!)...there are just so many. And what has really made all of them great has been the audiences - there's nothing like a Glasgow crowd. Sure, they're sometimes a little beery and larey, but they are the most enthusiastic crowds I've ever seen! I barely made it out of Skunk Anansie alive, almost lost a shoe in the mosh pit at Doves (!), and was touched by the huge genuine love The Bluetones were shown last night, with Autophilia being a massive sing-along despite not being their greatest song (but don't tell them I said that!).

Sadly that will be my last gig here, because I'm moving back to Bath on Sunday. But I already have gigs lined up there...Chris Addison at the Tobacco Factory in Bristol on Monday! Then a bit of a gap until The Joy Formidable and Chapel Club in February at Thekla (it's a boat! And one of the finest venues I've been to. Mostly because it's a freakin' boat!).

What's A Girl To Do?

There is a recurring phrase in Terry Pratchett's Discworld books: "You do the job that's in front of you", usually used by Sam Vimes, and occasionally by Granny Weatherwax, both of whom have hard jobs to do but do them anyway because somebody has to.

I don't have a particularly hard job; it's an incredible, fun, interesting job that I feel privileged to do every day. But because the place is so understaffed, all of us end up 'doing the job that's in front of us' even when it's not a good idea. Like moving extremely heavy and awkward things when you're recovering from a broken arm. To be fair, I broke it five months ago, and it is well on the way to healing, but this last week I have shifted a lot of large, heavy boxes in cramped, awkward spaces, and it is pushing my recovery backwards. I had a physio appointment this morning and told her that my arm was more sore this week than it has been in a while, but then afterwards went into work and got right back on with carrying things that I know I shouldn't. And this evening I'm back on the painkillers.

And I know I should have not done what I did today, but there is a culture at work of suffering in silence - everyone has bad backs or other (usually work-related) health problems, but because there are so few people to do these things or to ask for help, they all feel they have to soldier on rather than show signs of weakness (or something like that!). And this culture is infectious - I took one week off work when I broke my elbow. One week. I was still in a great deal of pain, and could barely use my right arm, when I went back, but I felt I had to or I'd be letting people down. And I have spent weeks (months, now) struggling to type, and to move drawers or boxes of specimens, but I have kept my mouth shut and kept going, because it's what everyone else does.

Tomorrow I am NOT going to be moving heavy boxes. Either somebody else can help, or they're not going to be moved.


Sorry to get all maudlin and ranty on you today, but sometimes it's nice to get things off your chest! And I haven't written anything here in ages! I have been to lots of amazing gigs recently, so maybe I'll write a post about those later this week. But right now I have to go rest my sore arm because typing is making my wrist hurt!

Me And You Vs The World

What a bad Blog Mistress I am. Yet again, 'Oops, sorry, my bad'.

Films Wot I Have Seen Recently:


Inception:
Wow. There is no other word. Christopher Nolan, you are a genius and I want to make love to your brain. That sounded less bad in my head.


Toy Story 3:
Yes, in 3D and everything. Which was great! It worked really well, and didn't make my eyes hurt at all, unlike the last film I saw in 3D (Coraline. Obviously not the film's fault, it was a great film, but it didn't really benefit much from the 3Dness). The animation was AMAZING, and it had a lovely story. Anyone who didn't have a little tear in their eye at the end isn't human.

Scott Pilgrim vs The World:
This was today's cinema outing. It is a massive slice of awesome from start to finish. I love Edgar Wright, he is also a genius, and he has a wonderful and distinctive style of film-making. I love spotting all the affectionate references to other films/TV shows/games etc. in his movies. Being an American film this time (and based on a graphic novel) obviously it was slightly different in style to the stuff he's made with Simon Pegg (not a Cornetto in sight!), but there are still little touches that mark it out as an Edgar Wright film. And it was funny, and clever, and the effects were amazing, and despite still looking like a teenager (there was some stubble in evidence, so I'll upgrade him from 12 to maybe 14), Michael Cera kicked some serious ass! Is it very wrong that I now have a tiny crush on him? Well yes, obviously, since I just said he looks about 14, which makes me sound like a paedophile. I'll shut up and go away now.

But while I get my coat, just time for a quick rant. I was appalled (if not totally surprised) to see at the cinema today a trailer for Let Me In, an American remake of the Swedish Let The right One In, which was itself based on a Swedish book of the same title. My question is: WHY? From the trailer the remake appears to be a direct shot-for-shot, frame-by-frame replica of the original film. Which makes it totally redundant. But of course some people are lazy and can't read subtitles, so let's just re-do the entire film for them, rather than suggest they watch it dubbed. Bloody typical. I saw the Spanish film The Orphanage a couple of years ago, and while it was still showing at the cinema I heard that an English language remake had been planned. Which thankfully hasn't yet emerged, but I believe is still in the pipeline. That film was superb, and the subtitles in no way distracted from the creepiness or the sentiment of the film (this is all true for Let The right One In, too).
So please, lay off on the crappy remakes of superb non-English language films.
/rant

It's Over

I love reading, and I do get very involved in my books. So while I can happily sit doing little else for days, racing towards the end of a book, it's always disappointing to reach the end, because the story's over and I have to return to the real world. Which can sometimes be a slightly jarring transition, especially if I've been reading an Alan Dean Foster novel, and have to remember that interstellar travel isn't possible, there are no giant talking insects, and no Commonwealth of planets. He has created such a coherent and vivid galaxy in his books that it is sometimes easy to forget that all these things are not real (if you're me, anyway)! My disappointment at reaching the end of the latest Foster novel is compounded by the fact that it's the last book in a series which he has spent nearly 40 years writing. And a series in which the previous few books have been something of a letdown, having lost the thread of the main plot somewhat and headed off on unnecessary and frivolous tangents.

The last book in the Flinx series was not in itself a letdown at all, in fact it was extremely good (but don't expect a review or even plot synopsis here, because if you haven't read the series it'll mean very little to you, and Mum hasn't read the last book yet, so I'd hate to spoilerise!), but coming to the end is especially disappointing simply because there will be no more. It's taken a long time to get there, but Flinx's story is over, and reaching the end is like losing an old friend. I've grown up with Flinx - I was 16 when I read the first book, about the same age Flinx was at that point, and we're both 26 now - I've always loved him as a character and looked forward to reading his latest adventure (even when it did stray from the major plot of the series), but now I have no more adventures to look forward to! I guess I'll have to go and get a life of my own instead! After I've read the last few non-Flinx Commonwealth books that I just realised I missed somewhere along the way!

Big Cheese

I just read an article on Yahoo Movies blog about films that're so bad they're good. And they do have some corkers! Highlights include Birdemic (the link in their blog doesn't work), which is so tacky it looks like a spoof trailer, Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus, which looks like possibly the most awesomist film ever, and Shark Attack 3: Megalodon, starring John Barrowman (which just about tells you everything you need to know: it's gonna be cheesy as hell).

And I can think of a few other films that definitely fall into the category of 'so bad they're good':

Ticks, a wonderful 90's horror film featuring Carlton from Fresh Prince trying to be a badass, Seth Green, and some giant mutated ticks. And plenty of unintentional hilarity.

Piranha, a stunning piece of late 70's cheese that followed in the wake of the success of Jaws. I love the buzzing sound effect they used when the piranhas attack. There is a remake out this summer, which instead of mutated piranhas uses 2 million year-old supposedly extinct piranhas! In 3D!

Zapped!, a large slice of 80's Stinking Bishop starring a very young Scott Baio as a science geek who accidentally discovers a formula that gives him telekinetic powers, leading to all sorts of hilarious high school hilarity.

Flash Gordon. Ah, Flash Gordon. A predictable addition to the list, I'll admit, but it is without a doubt one of the cheesiest movies ever made. And BRILLIANT. What's not to love? It has everything you need: Ming The Merciless, Brian Blessed, and a soundtrack by Queen. Job done.

Any others you think I've missed? There must be millions. I have discounted such gems as Evil Dead, Nightmare on Elm Street, WarGames, Willow, Die Hard, Gremlins, Short Circuit, Dune etc., on the grounds that I think they are genuinely good.

Strange Ones

So that's it. No more Supergrass. My world has a little musical hole in it. Last night they said farewell to Scotland, at the Barrowlands (a wonderfully tacky old ballroom) in Glasgow, as part of their final tour.

And they were wonderful. They were always wonderful, of course, but last night in particular will forever stand out as a great gig for me. It was a true retrospective: starting with the most recent album and working backwards, they played 3 or 4 songs from each, and finished at the very beginning with the first song they ever wrote (Caught By The Fuzz, of course). They even had little video montages to introduce each album.

The crowd were great, by about halfway through the set...they were all a bit static to begin with, and it wasn't until we got to Moving that the whole room started jumping, and after that there was some pretty consistent moshing! But even when people were just standing still, the cheering and the singing along were pretty damn impressive! You could really feel the love in that room. The band played for a solid two hours, and every song was a gem. We got the hits, and some brilliant album tracks that they haven't played in the past when I've seen them.

It was all over far too soon, they took a bow, and then were gone.

Goodbye, boys. I will miss you.

EDIT 11/6/2010: I sat listening back through all their albums at work yesterday (enjoying the wonderfulness of them all over again, and discovering I like Road to Rouen as an album a lot more than I used to!), and have figured out the set list from the Glasgow gig. So for those who are interested, here it is (not necessarily in order within each album):

Bad Blood
Diamond Hoo Ha Men
Rebel In You
Outside
Tales of Endurance
St. Petersburg
Road To Rouen
Kiss of Life
Rush Hour Soul
Brecon Beacons
Grace
Funniest Thing
Moving
Mary
Pumping On Your Stereo
In It For The Money
Richard III
Late In The Day
Sun Hits The Sky
I'd Like To Know
Mansize Rooster
Lenny
Strange Ones

Encore:
Alright
Caught by The Fuzz

I think that's all of it! Pretty impressive. Particular highlights for me included...ah hell, the whole set was a damn highlight! How do you choose out of that bumper assortment of goodies?!

Some videos have turned up on Youtube now, so here are a few gems for your enjoyment:

D Is For Dangerous

OK, OK, I know I said I'd back off and leave Twilight alone, but that was before I read it. I was told by one of my friends that the books were much better than the films (she compared them favourably to the Harry Potter books, some of which I do really like (and some of which are a bit average)), so I thought maybe I should actually give it a go. And as she lent me the first book, saving me the embarassment and cost of going out and buying it, I didn't really have much of an excuse not to!

Let me start with the good (because I do strive for balance, and I really did go into this thing wanting to like it, despite my poor opinion of the films): the last 100 or so pages are quite gripping. Once the action gets going, the pace is swift, and it is pretty tense. Unfortunately, this change in gear occurs 328 pages into the 434-page book. The first 327 pages are little more than disturbingly schizophrenic teenage obsession dressed up as love. Bella falls over a lot (she makes endless complaints about her clumisness, which is obviously supposed to demonstrate her ordinariness next to the godlike, graceful Edward (just two of the many adjectives used to describe him in the book)), at least 5 boys fall in love with her (much to her surprise because, again, she thinks she's so very ordinary), and Edward spends a lot of time warning her that he's dangerous and that they should keep their distance, while at the same time stalking her (seriously. It's creepy). But there is very little evidence of a story. 'Girl meets vampire, girl begins unhealthy, obessive relationship with vampire' about sums up most of the book.

Which may suit some people fine - and it obviously does, because these books are highly popular best-sellers - but I'm afraid it lacks the depth of storytelling needed to hold my attention. There is very little subtlety or intricacy to the writing here, and the cast of supporting characters have so little page-time or dialogue as to be interchangable. It is easy and quick to read, but that's not particularly a good thing...it's quick to read because you don't need to be paying much attention to follow the 'action' (or lack thereof), and even the main characters are so unrealistic and poorly drawn that I cannot really get emotionally involved with either of them. They are cliched caracatures, not rounded human beings, and the endless overuse of superfluous adjectives/adverbs to describe everything about Edward (including his eyes, skin, hair, muscles, smell, movement, voice, smile, laugh, chest, teeth, breath (I'm not kidding)) really begins to grate. I know it is teen fiction, so my criticism of it for being simplistic may be a little harsh, but these days there are some very smart, complex teen novels out there (including works by Philip Pullman, Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman, and Catherine Webb), compared to which Twilight is something of a disappointment.

Sorry. I read it, I tried to like it, I failed.

It was OK, but I didn't love it. It's possible that the books get better as the series continues - I wasn't overly enamored of the first few Harry Potter books either, but the last few are cracking - but I'm not sure if I have the willpower to battle on and find out! At least the first few HP books were short!
 

Next I think I'll move on to The Twilight Watch (the similarity in title is purely coincidental - Twilight Watch is the third book in the superb Night Watch series by Sergei Lukyanenko) for some seriously good, intricately-plotted, character-driven horror fantasy.

This Summer

OK, add Scott Pilgrim vs. The World to my list of films I wanna see this summer. Just watched the trailer, and it looks great. It's a superhero movie (of sorts) based on a comic book, and it's directed and co-written by Edgar Wright, so it's bound to have lots of in-jokes and fan boy movie references. And plenty of nerdiness, because it also has Michael Cera (of Juno fame - love that movie), who must be in his mid-20's by now but still looks about 12!

I've now seen Prince of Persia, and it was pretty good. The dialogue felt a little stilted in places, but you can't fault the action sequences, or the impressive shape Jake is in (there may have been drool). Plus, it has Scary Jeff from Coupling in it (who is almost unrecognisable)!

In It For The Money

Films I do not want to see this summer:


Sex And The City 2
Why, Lord, why? As if the first film wasn't excruciating enough. And there really was no need for a second movie, except to squeeze one last chunk of cash out of the franchise. The first movie tied up all the loose storylines in a nice little bow and gave everyone the Happily Ever After the audience wanted. So why not leave it there? And yes, I have watched the first movie, but I stress that I did so under duress.
I liked the series when it began, because it was very funny...the characters were broadly-drawn caricatures who got into ridiculous situations and had lots of sex. Fair enough. But then suddenly people started taking them seriously, and wanting to be like them! And that's when it all went wrong.


Twilight: Eclipse
I'll keep this brief, because I've already rubbished Twilight elsewhere in this blog and it would be mean to do it again. But, really, what IS all the fuss about? The movies are dull and slow, Bella is an annoying sullen brat, Edward ditto, and Jacob is just there as a piece of inappropriately fanciable jailbait ass. Where is the plot here?!


Films I DO want to see this summer:


Prince of Persia
Yes, it's based on a computer game (a version of which I think I once played a demo of many years ago on my friend's Playstation), and yes, it's made by Disney. But it's got Ben Kingsley (sorry, Sir Ben Kingsley) playing a goateed baddie and doing his very best Ming The Merciless impersonation! What more do you need? Apart from Jake Gyllenhaal, looking lovely as ever. The trailer actually looks quite impressive. Even if it turns out to be a plotless piece of shite (a la Pirates of the Caribbean 2 & 3), it certainly promises to be visually stunning.


Inception
I know nothing about this movie, except that it's written and directed by Christopher Nolan. But that's enough for me! I just watched the trailer, and I'm still none the wiser!


Films I've seen recently that blew my socks off:


Iron Man 2
It rocks. It's got Mickey Rourke as a Russian badass physicist, Sam Rockwell as a sleazy company asshole, and an AC/DC soundtrack. And Robert Downey Jr. Who is superb. As ever.


Four Lions
Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenius. But due to its subject matter I wouldn't be surprised if somebody tried to ban it*. Chris Morris has that effect on people.


*And surprise, surprise, there were calls to ban it! But that doesn't seem to have hampered its ratings.

Feeling The Pull

You may have noticed this blog's been kinda quiet lately. And that's not due to laziness on my part, I swear, I have had no internet for the last few weeks due to a delay while switching suppliers. And during this internet down-time, I have had an opportunity to reflect on the fact that the internet is a dangerous, addictive, albeit useful, waste of time.

Yes, I have been inconvenienced by a lack of iPlayer and the instant gratification of having the sum of human knowledge at your finger tips (which I use mainly to find out what I've seen actors in because I'm sure I've seen them in something before, but I'm not sure what and it's really bugging me), but I have also not been a slave to the insidious nuisance that is Facebook. Being connected to the entire world 24 hours a day is not, I'm sure, entirely a good thing. I resisted joining Facebook for a long time, but after I did I would spend half the day thinking up things to write in my status, and would rush to the computer as soon as I got home to inform the world what I'd been doing all day. Which, when you come to think of it, is tragically sad. And rather egotistical: as if the world cares! I'm sure most of the world has better things to do than 'like' my status updates, so why do I make the effort to (try to) write something witty and amusing?! But that's the thing - most of the world actually doesn't have anything better to do, based on the evidence. Not content with spending all evening on Farmville or posting random nonsense and LOLcats (I love them, I'll admit it!) all evening at home, some people spend all day on Facebook at work as well! Leading many companies (and Universities) to block FB on their networks because they're losing countless hours of work time from their employees.

And having spent 3 weeks without internet, what was the first thing I did when I discovered it was back up and running today? Yes, update my Facebook status! Followed by writing this blog to tell the world about my feelings of disgust at myself for updating my Facebook status. Having discovered that life without the internet IS possible, I'd like to think that I will now spend less time using it, but let's face it, it's not going to happen. Boredom will suck me back in, and I will be its bitch again in no time!

This Is A Low

Been sitting here listening to Parklife (because To The End was used in an episode of Misfits I watched earlier - brilliant show!) and wondering how I could have forgotten how good Blur were. I loved them intensely when I was a teenager, but then kind of forgot about them. I don't even own Think Tank. Maybe I'll have to rectify that next time I'm in Fopp. Because they really were bloody good. I missed them at Glastonbury last year (one of my two great Glasto regrets, the other being missing David Bowie in 2000), not because I didn't have a ticket - I did - but because we'd had a bit of a disastrous weekend and by Sunday evening I was so knackered that I was just ready to go home. And I thought Blur would just be a bit of a nostalgia-fest...amusing, but irrelevant. So I went home and watched the set on TV. And immediately wished I was back in that field. I'd have been squashed and hot and probably falling asleep on my feet, but I'd have been there. At the start of every song I was sitting there going "Oh, wow!", and I still remembered all the words, even after so long. Blur were one of my first musical loves, and are one of the few bands that I always wanted to see that I never did. It's a short list, and they're somewhere near the top.

I don't regret going home early, because I really think I'd have been dying on my feet if I had stayed there, but I do regret missing Blur. I need them to do a few more smaller gigs so I can see them! But it won't happen. They are now firmly retired.

So that's my little Sunday evening reverie. I'm gonna go dig out Modern Life is Rubbish.

Shoot The Runner

Since I've already departed from film into books, I might as well depart further...into the subject of sport. Well, not sport exactly, but P.E. Physical Education. The bane of my school life (which, thankfully, is now many years behind me). A radical change of subject perhaps, but what brought it on was a comedy gig I went to tonight by Chris Addison (if you don't know who he is, I'm not going to explain. That's what Wikipedia is for!), and he was talking about being crap at sports at school. And I can sympathise, because I was likewise crap at sports. Not due to lack of talent as such (although there were some sports that I was genuinely crap at...what sadist invented rounders anyway?!), but due to lack of motivation. I had the body of a runner, but not the will of a runner. I just couldn't see the point. And I was a bit suspicious of the people who were seriously into sports, I wondered if maybe they were missing a crucial part of their brain, the part that says, "No, I don't want to go run in circuits round a field on a cold rainy day while being loudly berated by an angry P.E. teacher in short shorts that were probably never flattering even back when he was young enough to have the legs for them, for being too slow. I'd much rather curl up here where it's nice and warm with a good book and a cup of hot chocolate. But thanks for asking".

So I was picked last for all the teams, or given crappy positions (what IS the point of a goal keeper in netball anyway? Because the shooter can just stand about an inch outside of your little circle that you're trapped in and shoot from there, and you can do fuck all to stop them! Netball is an evil sport). Or made to play rounders when everyone else was playing the cool sports like basketball or hockey on the dreaded Inter-Tutor Group Sports Day. Have I mentioned that I fucking hate rounders? Just, why? Fucking why?! A bat about the thickness of a twig, a tiny ball, and weedy kids who can't hit it more than 10 yards (if they can hit it at all). Yeah, that's gonna be a good game!

And now of course I'm an unfit lazy bitch who never does excercise of any form, and has such an inbuilt hatred of sports and sport centres that I would rather die of a heart attack than actually join a gym. And who is suspicious of people who run for enjoyment. Certainly city runners. I used to quite like going running in the countryside, usually while out with the dogs, but people who run in cities...there's got to be something wrong with them! What enjoyment is there to be had?

But cyclists, they are the kings of the mentalists: the lunatics running the sporting asylum. From the ugly aerodynamically-shaped helmets to the clingy lycra shorts, there is not a single thing right about urban cycling. For a start, you're just a moving target for impatient taxi drivers! What more reason do you really need to not do it?! Especially in a city like Glasgow where we have a road system so complicated that when you 're only halfway to where you wanted to go and it's taken twice the length of time you thought it should to get there, you really want to hit something! A passing cyclist could prove too much of a temptation for some people!



Disclaimer: I do not in any way condone the mowing down of cyclists as a form of anger management therapy, and nor would I ever consider practicing it myself. But I still maintain that cyclists are totally mental. Runners too.

 

The Story of my Heart

So, I know this blog was supposed to be about film, but I've already mentioned television in at least one post, so I might as well branch out into books. Because right now I'm more into books than I am films. Because I've been buried nose-deep in some very good books lately.

So far this year I have read...

The second Amber series by Roger Zelazny:

Five books, all reasonably short, all quite gripping, making up one coherent story. Well, if you're being technical it's ten books, because this series follows the trials and tribulations of Merlin, son of Corwin, who was the narrator and (occasionally) hero of the first five books. Their stories, and their personalities, are quite different, so they do really make up two separate series. The second of which is very hard to find in a book store! You can get all ten books in one volume, or just the first five, but not Merlin's series on its own. Which is a shame, because Merlin is actually a much more likeable character than his dad. He is much more human...he just wants to slack off and explore the multiverse, but discovers that his family (especially his ambitious and ruthless mother) have bigger plans for him. I won't go further into the plot because I don't want to spoilerise in case any of my 2 or 3 readers feel like giving it a go! You have to read Corwin first really, to learn what you need to know about the world of Amber, and all the family politics and history, but don't let that put you off...they're also fairly short books, and also very gripping!

The Night Watch and The Day Watch by Sergei Lukyanenko:

These books are the first two in a series of four. I've not gotten any further than The Day Watch yet, because I got distracted by another book that I'd been waiting to be released for a very long time (and which I will get to in a minute). The basic premise is that the Light and the Dark have been at war since the start of time, and their war is fought by Others, once human but endowed with magical powers, Light Ones and Dark Ones. But the war was creating too many losses (on both sides, and in terms of civilians), so a truce was called. The truce is upheld and enforced by the Day Watch (Dark Ones who keep a watchful eye on the forces of Light) and the Night Watch (Light Ones who watch the forces of Dark). Again, not going to spoilerise by going further into the plot, but will say that they are very, very worth reading! I found the first book a little more enjoyable than the second, mostly because it was narrated by Anton, who is a very interesting character, and it had a lovely style. The second book is written from several points of view, mostly in the third person. Which is a very good technique, because it allows you to see things from other angles and sympathise with the troops on both sides of their stalled war, but I have to say I missed Anton a little.
Both books are split into 3 different stories, which is again very cleverly done...the stories are all quite separate and unconnected at first, but then collide at the end of the book, tying things together. But not too neatly, because that would be boring. This series leaves plenty of room for grey areas, and that is what makes it so compelling.


The Midnight Mayor by Kate Griffin:

I'm still working on this one, and am only about a third of the way through, but I had to have a rave about it! I have been impatiently waiting for this book since I read A Madness of Angels in April last year (to which The Midnight Mayor is the sequel). I read the first book on the amazing strength of the review in SFX magazine when it first came out (it was the comparison to the work of Neil Gaiman that drew my eye), and they were damn right! About how good the book is, anyway. Comparisons to other authors are always dangerous and misleading...they are a little Gaiman-esque in that they deal with urban magic and are set in London (superficially like Neverwhere, also a superb book), but Kate (who also writes as Catherine Webb, and her teen fantasy and Victorian detective novels are also well worth reading) has her own style, and takes the ideas of magic and urban myth to very different places. And has created a highly likeable (and often pitiable!) character in Matthew Swift, narrator and reluctant hero of the two books. So go get your hands on a copy, and enjoy. You can thank me later!

Reflection of the Television

So, as predicted this blog is already looking lonely and unloved. What a bad Blog Mistress I am!

But I have been watching lots of films, so you could call it 'research'! Lately, I have been mostly watching....

Sam Rockwell films:

Quite a few of them! After Moon, I acquired Lawn Dogs, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, Choke, and Welcome to Collinwood (which I had seen before). I also saw Everybody's Fine in the cinema the other week. And I don't really know what to say about all of these films, apart from: go watch them! They're all great in their very different ways, and all have one thing in common: the brilliance of Sam Rockwell!

Funny Games (the English language remake):

A very strange film. Creepy, shocking, and with an ending that is not typical of this type of horror film (which also makes it quite surprising!). I don't know if it is much like the original (but since it was remade by the director if the original I imagine it's not far off), but it is a brave and pretty original shocker, with lots of psychological tension and relatively little gore (compared to a lot of modern horrors), with most of the really horrible stuff happening off screen (which just makes it all the more disturbing). Not sure you could call it 'entertaining', it's too grim for that, but it certainly is compelling!

The Best Man:

From one extreme to the other - this is a fluffy, funny, charming Stuart Townsend film. With Seth Green attempting a half-successul London accent (which is a little weird!). A fairly conventional chick flick, but quite a sweet one. And it has Stuart Townsend. What more do you need?...

Dorian Gray:

...maybe Ben Barnes? He is a very, very attractive man. And not a bad Dorian, even though he's dark rather than blonde and cherubic, and despite the fact that the writers of the movie felt the inevitable Hollywood need to make Dorian a half-likeable character, which, in the book, he really is not. You pity him finally, right at the end, but you can't like him. I had sort of expected to hate the film, having read and loved the book not too long before it came out, but it was very entertaining (and Ben Barnes is very pretty), so I can forgive it for deviating from the book. It is, as a film, pretty good, and I can enjoy it and the book on different levels. Which is quite rare with book adaptations, because I do get very attached to my books and hate to see them butchered! But while the story is changed here, it is not actually butchered. At least, not enough to ruin the film! So Dorian Gray gets a surprised thumbs up from me!

Easy Virtue:

Yes, I get a bit obsessed. I watched Dorian Gray, so I had to go find another Ben Barnes film! Easy Virtue is adapted from a Noel Coward play that I've not read. Part musical, part drama, part comedy, it could be quite disjointed, but it actually combines these elements quite successfully, and is a very good film. With some very good singing from all the cast (except Colin Firth, who is a superb and classy actor, but who thankfully doesn't attempt to sing here! I've seen St Trinians, and the singing at the end was not pretty. But it was damned funny!), the heavy lifting being done by Barnes, who can both sing and play piano! Who knew? (having been in a boy band is not a guarantee of talent!).


So that's what I've been watching lately. The highlights, at least! And my favourite of all these films? Choke. A lewd, funny, charming and rather sad film. And a bloody good one!

Vlad The Impaler

The early Hammer Horror films with Christopher Lee really started the whole vampire craze. Then of course in the 80's there was a whole spate of films, including Near Dark, The Lost Boys, and John Carpenter's Vampires. All good films. The 90's weren't such a good era for vampires, but they still managed to produce From Dusk Til Dawn and Vampire In Brooklyn (two of my favourite vampire movies). There have been a few poor attempts at vampire films since (including the Blade trilogy, which didn't really do much for me, I'm afraid), and Van Helsing (which, despite featuring the lovely Hugh Jackman, couldn't quite decide what it was, and sadly failed as both a horror and as a comedy).

But in the last few years we seem to have been bombarded with the undead, both in film and on TV...first Underworld, then Twilight, True Blood (brilliant), Being Human (even more brilliant), Daybreakers (fantastic vampire gore-fest), and now The Vampire Diaries. And soon we have The Wolfman (which I am actually quite excited about - the trailer is damn impressive).

Combining vampires and werewolves seems to be the real creature-feature obsession at the moment. Underworld was the first real attempt to combine them in one film, and I have to say it was very successful. The underlying mythos was well constructed and had some depth to it, providing a good story that made the film more than a simple vampires vs. werewolves brawl, which it could easily have become. And instead of the werewolves being painted merely as vicious animals, they were given a history and a motive, and, most importantly of all, a charismatic and intelligent leader. It could be argued that the third film, Rise of the Lycans, was unnecessary since the first film provided the highlights of the Lucian/Sonja story, but I think they carried it off well, again adding depth to the mythology that they had created. And they had such a superb actor in Michael Sheen that he gave the film, and the character, some real credibility.

Twilight also combines the two species. But the whole premise is just far too twee, teen angsty and romanticised to actually be a good horror film. Or even to count as horror at all. It is, let's face it, a teen romance. And a fairly dull, two-dimensional one at that. I really don't understand the hysteria surrounding the series, or the actors. I just don't get Robert Pattinson. The guy who plays Jacob is quite sweet but very, very young, which made the shirtless scenes a little uncomfortable. Is it right for women in their 30's to be lusting over a 17-year-old?! I haven't read the books, and having sat through the first two films (grudgingly), I can't say I feel any strong desire to try. The Vampire Diaries is another new vamp-based TV series imported from America. I saw a trailer for it the other day, and I'm afraid it just looks like Twilight all over again, with the same sickeningly romantic tweeness to it. But we'll see. I'll probably have to at least watch the first couple of episodes. Can't condemn something as crap if you haven't seen it!

There is also now a growing foreign contingent in the horror movie industry, especially from the Spanish, Russian, and Korean fronts, that must get a mention. Some of these countries have produced some very fine vampire films. Night Watch and Day Watch are Russian, and are adaptations of the first two of a series of four books (supposedly. Having just read the blurb for the second book, I suspect the film deviates heavily from the text!). Night Watch is poorly subtitled, which makes the story a little hard to follow in places, but it is a very good story, and another original take on the vampire genre. It sets up events nicely for the second film, which leaps quickly into the action and hurtles along to a very satisfying ending. And has much better subtitling! I'm intrigued enough to actually try reading the books now. Let The Right One In (Swedish) has also been a huge critical success, but I'm afraid I haven't gotten around to seeing it yet. It's at the top of my 'to watch' list, because it does look very good. And a foreign film has to be good to encourage lazy British crowds to actually pay attention and read the subtitles! Such hard work!

Bad Moon Rising

Moving on from the sci-fi theme and heading a little further along the genre spectrum, we come to horror. I've decided to split this into two posts for more bite-sized reading, as it was getting a little long...

Now, it can't have escaped anyone's attention that vampires and werewolves have suddenly become very popular. Vampires have always been popular, but for werewolves this seems to be a pleasant little renaissance. They've been out of vogue for a very long time. I tried writing a list of vampire and werewolf films that I've seen earlier, and only managed to come up with 7 werewolf films, compared with at least 17 vampire films (not including cross-overs such as Underworld and Twilight).

Of course, werewolves are smelly and hairy and not nearly as romantic a horror villain as your average vampire, so they've always been rather underrated. However, I would argue that An American Werewolf in London is one of the finest horror films (albeit a horror-comedy) of all time. And still to this day has THE finest werewolf transformation scene (although George's first transformation scene in the TV series Being Human was pretty damn impressive, and quite brutal). I was distressed earlier to hear a rumour that somebody plans to re-make it. Why on earth would you want to do that? It's such a classic.

In fact, An American Werewolf in London is the only good werewolf film on my list! The sequel, An American Werewolf in Paris, was just poor. Dog Soldiers and Ginger Snaps were cheesy (but faintly amusing!), Cursed was pathetic, and Teen Wolf was...well, Teen Wolf. Say no more. Ah, tell a lie. The Jack Nicholson film Wolf was actually very good.

So, two good werewolf films, in the whole of cinematic history (that I've seen, anyway. If anyone is aware of any more good ones, please let me know!). That's a little pathetic. But there is a wealth of good vampire mythos kicking around, and many different takes on the legend, giving vampire films a diversity and popularity that has always far outstripped that of the humble werewolf.


To be continued...

Serenity Now

Having tarred all modern sci-fi films (except Moon) with the same brush of unimaginative crappiness in my last post, I'd like to qualify that slightly by looking at some good modern sci-fi. For a start, Joss Whedon. Need I say more? I started watching Buffy during its second season, mostly because there was nothing else on on a Thursday night! I had no expectations of it actually being good. I mean, it was called Buffy The Vampire Slayer, how could you not have expected it to be rubbish? But then I got into it, and it turned out to be a clever, funny, and quite brilliant show. The spin-off Angel lost its way somewhere during seasons 3 and 4, but came back fighting with season 5, which was easily its best...and made its cancellation all the more disappointing. Then came Firefly (and movie spin-off Serenity). Which is, in my opinion, by far Joss Whedon's finest work. Again, 'cowboys in space' seems a premise unlikely to work, but it did. Brilliantly. And its main strength was the characters, whom you cared for and cheered for, and occasionally cried for, so well written (and acted!) were they. And that's where the key to success for any show (or film) lies...in creating characters whose lives you can really get involved in, and who you really care about. And that has always been something that Joss has done well. One of the most distressing things I've seen in any TV show was the poking out of Xander's eye in season 7 of Buffy. That was just shocking. I still have to look away during that scene, it's very hard to watch!

Not to be a broken record, but depth of character was something that made Moon brilliant as well. And of course also the new Batman films. Which are so much better than any other comic book movie yet made as to be in a completely different league. And the writing makes all the difference. They are gritty and realistic (well, as realistic as any comic book film can get!), and they have characters whose motives you understand (mostly - the Joker is the obvious exception, but that's the whole point: he's a deranged sociopath, and his lack of fathomable motive is what makes him such a challenging opponent) and who you care for. You have to care about Bruce to root for Batman, especially when he is up against someone as charismatic as the Joker. Can't have the audience on the baddy's side! Christopher Nolan really has done an excellent job of making Batman respectable again (let's face it, the old Adam West TV series was AMAZING, but it was also amazingly camp!), and he is at the forefront of a group of film-makers now creating intelligent, gripping sci-fi.

There are some other comic book adaptations that are worthy of note: Iron Man was awesome (due to its excellent mixing of big action and Robert Downey Jr!), The X-Men films were very good (although obviously Wolverine/Hugh Jackman was the main reason for this!), Spiderman was a mixed bag (the first film was good (althougth some of the CGI was dreadful!), but the sequels didn't work as well), The Hulk was pretty terrible (both films. Unfortunately even the usually brilliant Ed Norton couldn't save it!), and The Punisher was just out-and-out shite. There are obviously many more comic book films out there, but this little selection covers most areas of the Spectrum of Comic Book Movie Adaptation Succes.

Oh, crap. I forgot another good comic book adaptation: Hellboy. Well, Hellboy II mostly. The first film was a little confused and confusing, but the second film was great. Well written, well directed (by Guillermo del Toro. Genius), and with amazing effects (by the same people who brought you the wonderful Pan's Labyrinth), it was a triumph of a movie. Even taking into account the fact that it starred a former member of Bros. Especially taking into account the fact that it starred a former member of Bros! Who knew he could actually act?!

Hmm, I appear to have gotten a little side-tracked from sci-fi and lost in comic book movies! But that's because I ran out of good straight SF to talk about! Well, that's still not entirely accurate. I forgot Event Horizon - not only a great sci-fi, but also an incredibly chilling horror. And also District 9, which is very strange and very funny!

Moonage Daydream

Because Moon is the last film I watched, and also in my humble opinion the very best film of 2009 (not to mention the best sci-fi film in decades), I thought it would be a good place to start. I saw it twice at the cinema, and just got round to buying it on DVD. And it's still just as good on the third viewing. By the end of the film I'm still sitting on the edge of my seat shouting "What are you doing, Sam?" at the TV, even though I KNOW what he's doing, I've seen it several times already! It really draws you in, in a way that not too many films are able to do these days.

Especially sci-fi films, which often tend to be big epic action films with bucket-loads of CGI and only a teaspoonful of plot to hang the action sequences together. But it wasn't always so. Moon harks back to the sci-fi movies of the 70's and 80's, when budgets were small, effects minimal, and story that much more important. If you don't have big monsters and battle scenes with which to wow the audiences, you have to keep their attention with a story that they can connect with and characters they care about instead. I'm not saying all old sci-fi movies were masterpieces, but there are some classics that 30 years later still stand up as brilliant pieces of film-making (for example: Alien, 2001, Blade Runner, Silent Running, Starman (OK, maybe not so much Starman, but I love it!...). These days it seems there is a lack of imagination in the sci-fi world, as most of the films produced in the last 10 years have been either comic-book adaptations (some of them brilliant, some of them somewhat less so) or remakes of old films (ditto. But heavier on the 'somewhat less so').

So for something truly new and orginal to come out is a great joy. Moon is made very much in the style of the old movies, like Alien and Silent Running - simple enough premise, small cast, basic (but beautifully executed) special effects - but it is not copying them. It is gripping, intelligent, and very moving. And superbly acted by Sam Rockwell (who has firmly established himself as one of my favourite actors now). But the final word has to be on Duncan Jones, who directed this masterpiece. Moon is his first full-length film (there is a short on the DVD extras of Moon, called Whistle, which is also well worth a watch), and if there are more where this came from then he could be a very exciting film-maker indeed. We expect great things from you, Mr Jones (but no pressure or anything!).

So here we are, again...

Hello again! Another blog, another badly punned film title. This blog will prove that I'm more than a one-trick pony...not only can I ramble on at great length about museums, I can also ramble on at great length about films! So that's what this blog will be all about. And maybe also books, music, TV, whatever I happen to be obsessed with at the time!